Kirsten Crilly, Squam, Canon Rebel Xti

My favorite Squam story was from the very first day. The students hadn’t arrived and registered yet, and Jen, Jonatha and I were at the town general store getting sandwiches for lunch. After ordering at the deli I turned around to see a pretty little face behind me. (The one pictured above)

“Kirsten!” I exclaimed.

But wait, there is a wee bit of back story. Kirsten is a superhero journal reader. She is also a blogger and has written me some lovely notes over the years. Before I left for Squam she wrote me the kindest message with the subject line should words fail me. She then shared what my blog has meant to her and what it means to her to meet up in person. I was moved, and made a point to go to her blog and get her name down perfectly. Kirsten, not Kristen. Kirsten, Kirsten, Kirsten.

When I saw her at the deli I recognized her immediately.

“Kirsten!” I exclaimed.
Her eyes immediately flooded with tears.
“You know my name…” she said.
And then my eyes flooded with tears.
“I see you… I know exactly who you are.”
And then we hugged, and cried.

I get very moved every time I share that story. It encapsulates so perfectly the experience that most of us have of feeling like we are not seen, that are voice doesn’t matter, that our presence is inconsequential.

I think it is tempting to use this gremlin as a way to not express ourselves in the world. Why bother? we think. So and so has already done it, or done it better. Who cares what I do?

I still think this thought almost every day.
Who gives a sh*t what I think? No one wants to hear what you have to say… the gremlin growls.

But here’s the big secret:
We ALL matter.
Our voices all need to be heard.
Our art needs to be seen.
When we don’t show up at the meeting, at church, at the party, people notice and they wonder where we are.
We are seen and known.
And our stories need to be shared.